If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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