I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
