i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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