You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
