Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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