plz talk dirty to me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
