ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
