dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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