Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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