Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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