Plan B is the new Plan A
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
