If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
