? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
