Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
