You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
