I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
