she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm really busy with my period
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