I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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