And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
