they need to just BURY HIM!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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