i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
