Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
