i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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