I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
