thus making me awesome and them whores
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
