rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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