kristin has been a bad kristin
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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