Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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