dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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