If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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