I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Everyone says I win the strip club
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
