Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
