She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
