I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
