I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
