i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
