if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
