It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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