I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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