Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Mom said you looked used
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
not ubering you a puppy
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
