I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
