did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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