if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
