Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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