Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
