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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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