so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
