Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
