I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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