i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
