the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
