whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
