Where is the hickey?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
