Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
