one two three fourrrrnication!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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