HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
