It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
