im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
