wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
